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Super Bowl Super Paleo Fail

February 3, 2014 by mike Leave a Comment

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The Super Bowl marked a full month of my paleo lifestyle in action.  I only cheated once to have ice cream, which has a whole other backstory behind it.  So with the Super Bowl, I felt almost obligated to partake in the festivities of glutinous binge eating…BIG MISTAKE!

My buddy had a big Super Bowl party with almost everyone bringing something to share.  Some of the spread included paleo-friendly food like ribs and chicken wings (I’ll just assume they had paleo-friendly sauce).  Then there were the typical chips, cocktail hotdogs, cake, dips, and everything else with sugar, gluten, and make-believe ingredients.

By the end of the game, I’d say I had a little bit of a stomach ache which I just chalked up to drinking shitty beer, and the first beers I had drank in over a month.  But when I got home the pain in my stomach just started growing.

There was this almost stabbing feeling growing in my stomach throughout the night.  Getting to sleep was a big hassle.  By morning, it was way worse.  I won’t get into the exact details of the situation, but let’s just say I called in sick to work to keep the comforts of my bathroom close by.

Now I can’t help but think of two things.  One, I cannot believe my body has gotten accustomed to those poisons so much that one day of going nuts eating all of it would make me feel so horrible.  Two, I need to find some new ways to enjoy a social life without being “that Paleo guy”.  I’ll figure that out on my sick day off.

Oh by the way…what a pathetic Super Bowl!  I’m so glad I spent all of my money on a camera the other day and couldn’t afford to bet on this game.

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